Thinking about life…

Dear all,

Life isn’t easy. You all know that. Lately I’m living my emotions like a roller coaster ride, for several reasons. The theory says: think positive. Think positive and you’ll attract good things. Think negative and that’s what you get. Easier said than done. We also know that. But how do you DO that? How do you manage to stay positive. Think and act positive?

Life as already taught me that what was once a total tragedy, actually was a blessing in disguise. Still, It doesn’t teach us how to deal with the frustration and the feeling that someone let you down. I guess that’s how we grow up. I know I did. I’m still growing and experiencing the growing pains, although in the eyes of society I’m already a grown up woman. I’m already in my late twenties. Probably I should already be married (and divorced). I should have a 3 year-old in tow. But I don’t. It’s not like I don’t want to… it’s more like… What’s in life ater that?

Don’t take me wrong. I totally wanna be a mum, and I want to go home to my hubby everyday. What I mean is… We grow up, full of dreams, to become someone, to do something that matters, then you marry and have kids. Then you’re life becomes it. No matter if you say that there’s a career to consider, hobbies, friends, holidays. The fact is: there’s little to wait for after a wedding and kids. Sure, life doesn’t end with it. But the big plans, those will already have been accomplished, right?

This is more like an introspection of myself. I think I’ve been thinking about this for sometime now, but couldn’t quite put the finger on it. Nothing like putting thins in writing.

I know what I want. I want to do some things pretty badly. Sometimes I want to do the opposite and it’s quite difficult to find balance within a roller coaster. I wish I could go on a getaway trip. Go abroad with my sweetheart, so that we could set our record straight.

It’s not all about love. It’s also about Work, Family, Wishes… So many things.

I guess I’ll just have to find my path to enlightenment.

Have a pretty lazy week.

Frustration

Lately I just feel frustrated! I left my previous job because I wasn’t happy about it. Got a new one and honestly, I’m just feeling worse… What I need is a big change in my life. Hopefully that’ll happen somewhere in the next 6 months, but the question is… will I be able to survive the wait? Traffic almost gets me killed every morning (and afternoon, for what it’s worth…). My working place has a dreadful environment (disguised, evidently!), and it’s just a nightmare to wake up everyday to it. My self-esteem is really low right now. That’s why I need to get more time for myself, and do stuff to cheer me up. Until I get the chance to change my life.

Week plan:

Clean up my room;

Organize last vacation’s pictures;

Read Neil Gaiman’s book .

From now on I’ll plan my weeks until I get everything sorted out. This will help me stay focused and maybe I’ll start feeling a little better.

Thanks for listening, and stay tunned. More to come soon.

After the Summer

Summer is coming to an end, and we’re living its last days. The weather has been weird lately… sometimes it rains and it’s cold, sometimes it’s just hot. Well, I guess the weather has changed like the rest of us.

Since we’re talking about change, I decided to change the layout of the blog (yet again), but not just that. I changed my nick and the blog’s name… I wanted to keep the content, that’s why I didn’t create a new one. Besides I’m really making an effort to make it achieve one year old, despite the fact that lately I’ve barely been in touch with it. This also means change in my life. I wonder if I could move to the highlands right away… I wish I could do it! I’m sick and tired of my job and the people around me. Lately, I just feel a huge lack of motivation. I’m always tired, I keep running out of patience and moreover I just want to run away. But – reality check – I can’t do it. Done it once, can’t do it again. This time I’m going to make things in a different way. I just wish I could do it now.

This intro was just to explain why the sudden change. I need a change in my life, even if it’s on my blog, for God’s sake!

Now, as I was saying… yes, Summer. I was fortunate enough to have a vacation in August, on the beach. Reading and reading and putting up with the in-laws. In general, a good vacation (note to self: next year it’s going to be just me and Argus!).

I am now older too… but who’s counting? Right?

You might think I’m suffering the end of summer blues. Nothing could be farther away from the truth. I actually enjoy more the autumn. The golden leafs cracking under the shoes, the cold weather demanding a cup of tea and a blanket, staying home. Just that. I’m looking forward to that and spending my Sunday’s on the couch reading much more than I’ve read this year. I’m not proud so far.

Basically this just means I’m back, and that this time I really intend to post more often. At least gimme some credit: I’ve been updating my reading page. That much I deserve!

Stay tuned. The corner is just around…